[Header Image Description: A photo of me, Finn, a pale-skinned non-binary Australian Aboriginal person. My shoulder-length blonde hair is pulled up in a topknot on my head. I am wearing a white t-shirt and red headphones, and I am drinking tea from a large blue mug. I am sitting in a queen sized bed with a dark wood headboard, beige sheets and pillow cases, and a light blue doona cover. The wall behind me is also blue.]
Being disabled can be gross. Without proper aids like shower chairs and support bars, I shower – at most – once a week. With proper aids, that bumps up to about three times a week. You don’t notice until you can’t do it anymore, but showering and feeling clean are often very important for your self-esteem and body confidence. When you spend a lot of time at home, the state of your living space also impacts on your mental state. If you’re intermittently bedbound like I am, your bed can not only get dirty very quickly, but it can also feel stultifying, or even imprisoning. It becomes a representation of the pain or limitations you experience because of your disability, and can stop feeling like a space you want to be in, let alone a space you feel sexy in. This year, I found myself single for the first time in about six years, and I couldn’t rely on the external validation of a partner, so I had to generate a lot of my own sensual feelings. Being disabled can be isolating, depressing, and difficult, but you should be able to find moments where you feel cute, sexy, and confident, so here are some tips.