Short Stuff: On Absences

[Header Image Description: My disability kit, consisting of a dark green theracane, a copy of “Living Life to the Fullest With Ehlers Danlos Syndrome” by Kevin Muldowney, my black ABS pressure point abdominal stretcher, and a little keyring with the self propelling wheelchair symbol on it that my sibling made me.]

I don’t want to write a big post about this, but I feel like I can’t drop off the face of the earth for, what, four months? and not address it.

It’s probably no shock to anyone who had read, like, one of my blog posts, but I’m really, really mentally ill. I became really depressed in the middle of the year, and it became really hard to write. As I’ve said in previous posts, I was basically only writing erotica fanfiction. Then, eventually, I couldn’t even write that. I eventually got some medication that slowly pulled me out of my rut, but it killed my sex drive entirely. I’m not sure whether it was the medication itself, or my own fear at having another breakdown, but I couldn’t even think about sex anymore. Everything still felt like a chore, and I didn’t read a single blog post from another person, not even people who I have admired for years. Sex was nonexistent, masturbation was a utilitarian task, and kink was a major stressor.

So what changed?

In simple terms: I got sicker. My physical health issues have been getting progressively worse, to the point that I have finally got off my ass and sought out a diagnosis. Knowing for sure that my body was broken had the exact opposite effect to what you would expect: along with a little bit of help from The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, I started loving my body again. I realised that if I took steps to look after my body and my mind, sex and masturbation could be enjoyable. And, as with anything in my life, once I began to enjoy it again, I wanted to write about it.

So my goal now is to do things purely for my own enjoyment. I have moved to a free hosting platform so that I no longer need to be concerned with making money from my blog. I’m just going to write when I feel like it, and remember what I love about this bizarre little vessel I’m living my life in, and all the strange and wonderful things it can do.

Butt Plug

Fun Factory Bootie (Small) Review

[Header Image Description: The Fun Factory Bootie, a purple butt plug in a “J” shape, lying on a beige cushion with a diamond pattern.]

For as long as I have been interested in sex, I have been curious about anal play. There was a whole section of nerves and potentially pleasurable sensations that I was excited to explore, but due to my OCD, I was unable to realise this fantasy. It was only until I bought the Fun Factory Bootie Small that I was able to get into butt stuff without triggering my contamination fears. The Bootie is a really good beginner plug, and even now that I feel comfortable using slightly larger plugs, it still sees more or less frequent use.

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Dildo, In the top drawer

njoy Pure Wand Review

[Header Image Description: The njoy Pure Wand, a curved stainless steel dildo with two balls on each end, one larger than the other, lying in pink satin.]

The njoy Pure Wand is larger than life. I’d read rave reviews of it for years before I bought it, and the first thing I noticed was that it was much smaller than I had imagined. It’s like meeting a celebrity and being shocked at how short they are – there is such a charged presence to them, that it’s jarring when they don’t fit your inflated sense of them. However, the Pure Wand, unlike meeting your favourite celebrity, is just as good as it is promised to be. Continue reading “njoy Pure Wand Review”


Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Tip Combo Review

[Header Image Description: The Eroscillator 2, a ribbed, metallic purple cylinder, with 4 attachments.]

I got my Eroscillator 2 Plus Soft Tip Combo the same week as my new Dyson vacuum, and there are a lot of surprising similarities between the two. They’re oddly shaped, are the same colour, are smaller than my previous model, have lots of confusing attachments, have obtained cult status, and took me a while to warm up to them. (Unfortunately, unlike my vacuum, my Eroscillator doesn’t stand back up again if I kick it over.) In the world of sex toys, the Eroscillator is renowned. If there was a sex toy hall of fame, the Eroscillator would be nestled up right next to the Magic Wand and the njoy Pure Wand. It’s incredibly unique because instead of vibrating, the Eroscillator oscillates from side to side. I really appreciate this innovation, and am generally very excited by the prospect of new sensations on my genitals. While I don’t think you need to reinvent the wheel to make a good vibrator, sometimes thinking outside the wand/bullet dichotomy is exciting.

The Eroscillator range all have the same oscillating technology, but come with a range of intensities and various attachments. The most basic (Eroscillator 2) comes with one attachment, the Golden Spoon. The Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe has a power boost compared to the Eroscillator 2. I find this system quite frustrating, because if you want to upgrade to a higher powered Eroscillator, you have to buy a whole new model, rather than upgrading certain sections. I think it’s reasonable to sell attachments separately, but to have stark differences between contemporaneous models of a toy seems ridiculous to me. It feels like there’s a lot of pressure to buy the most expensive, most powerful option right off the bat. The Eroscillator line has also recently been revamped, and instead of a unique copper colour that really complemented the design, they’ve gone for the stock-standard colour for sex toys: purple. Granted, this is a really nice metallic type of purple, but I am still upset that I can’t match the wood stain of my bedside table or the metalware in my kitchen to the colour of my Eroscillator.

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Tantus Cush O2 Review

[Header Image Description: The Tantus Cush O2, a purple dildo with a milky exterior, with two ridges on the upper portion of the body. It is lying in a sink.]

I’ve had a conflicted history with the Tantus Cush O2. I bought it with my Christmas money in July of last year, (2015) after lusting after it for almost a year. I’d read every review I could find, I’d held and poked it multiple times in my local sex shop, I’d told friends and partners all about it. It finally arrived in the mail, in a glorious silky purple that Tantus call Twilight, (the blue was out of stock) and I instantly fell in love.

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